A letter to my mother..

To my mother....
I imagine you thinking of me as your unborn child
I know all the words you just might have said to me
I didn't know it then
Now I know all the hopes and dreams you had for me the first child
I know you never meant for me to feel the pressures of this earth
I know you wish you had given birth to me in better conditions
I know you wanted me to feel love

I'm here to tell you
In all your dreams
You did not fail
Here I am
Even though I was exposed to the negativity of the world
I still remain positive...
I felt some of the pressures of this world
But I survived...
You loved me unconditionally
Indeed I felt love..

Thank you for your directions
I know sometimes you think you failed me
I'm here to tell you that you didn't
You think I don't know
I see those tears
I want to do everything to wipe them away
You did all you could
You lead me to my pathway of destiny
You gave me security
For this I'll forever be grateful!

Once again, you did not fail
You are a big part of what I am today
what I'll be tomorrow and forever
To you I owe the life I live
I know I owe it to God first
You are my angel on earth
No matter where I am
I know you watching over me
Just like my sun is
Even when my sun goes you are still there

Thank you my best friend
Thank you my earth angel.
I know you are proud of the success you made me!
I love you earth angel
I know you will be with me through it all
I am grateful for your teachings
Everyday I pray never to loose you my earth angel

This letter is for you to keep
Everytime you think you've failed
Remember you haven't

The one you did not fail,
Your child.


Mide Olabimtan

Thoughts to the Sun....

Sitting in this chair
staring out the window..
Wondering if you'll ever come back
Waiting for the next time i'll see u again
I know you always come back
I know not a day passes without you coming to see me
I just wonder what will happen if you don't come
I imagine how dark this life will be without you in it
Please sun don't ever leave.

I can't possibly live in darkness
The light is my way
I need to see the light to move on
Please leave the darkness to take care of me when I'm asleep
I heard from the moon you wanted to give up your light
I'm pleading
I'm begging
Don't ever give up your light.
I know I might have been bad
Different things I might have said
At the end Sun I still love you

The moon says you are ostentatious
That's why you bring the light
I don't care
No matter what
You are my sun
When you smile down at me
I'm happy
I remember someone is watching over me
Thank you for always been my sun
Please don't leave my sun.
I need you
We complain but we all need you
The plants love you
The animals adore you
The people claim not to, if only they knew what you did for them
This is my plea to you, sun
Accept it..
I will write a letter to the moon and the stars too.

As I go to bed
I hope tomorrow I will wake up to you smiling down at me.
Please smile down at me
So I can make it through the day
Thank you.

Help Me....

If I cry out
if i scream for help
would u help?
the walls are closing in
cant hear nothing
but the sounds in my head
i'm in a world i dont know
im closing in on myself
would u hear me cry out from within myself?

What u see is not what u know
What u hear is not what u see
I'm different on the outside
the gregarious isnt really as they express themselves
deep down im yearning
Can u hear me?
Please tell me you can....

I'm a listener
I listen to u all the time
try to understand your issues
But what about mine?
Somewhere down there is the real me...
lost because you wont help me
only if you would ...
I ask again will you???

I'm struggling to get out
but my heart wont let me
till you help me
without u im going to stay within myself
My body is willing
but my heart says no
'NO' till u say yes

Save me before its too late
I'm pleading
save me before i become nothing but a facade
Do whatever u can
bring the real me back to life
thats all i ask

The real "ME" is the one you love
Bring me back
before i become engulfed in this new world
I'm pleading
Can u hear me?
My heart is crying out
Are you listening?....

Memoirs of A teenage girl....

It was like moving to another planet.....like going from one heavenly abyss to another....I came here feeling alone wondering why I chose to leave all the important people in my life behind....I came here knowing that finally it was going to be to stay and not just for the holidays....I cried not knowing how to continue my life without the best sister in the world and my best friends.....I felt dejected,sad and alone....I was happy to finally be in school but I was also sad....
Then I met you...You creeped into my life...............You and the rest of your family............When it was obvious i didn't want such closeness....when it was obvious I was only doing this for my sister.......the one person who means the world to me.........but i finally let myself go.........I let my self trust you....I gave you my all.............I loved you and I still do like I never loved another.......I fell in love with not just you but your family as well............They became my most trusted friends apart from my family................They

became the ones I told everything....... I called my sisters and all I could do was talk about the new family I had found......I just had to thank my sister for knowing you first...
Once again, I felt like I had something to hold on to....I felt like I had found new ground in this place.............I cried but not as much as before.......You had given me something to be happy about..............your family had given me something to wake up each morning for....
I never thought I would be hurt by you or them.......I never thought i will hear about this things..............this things they said are spiteful.....they claim i let myself loose to you , they claim i forced myself on you...............It hurts when I know how long it took me to open up my heart to you......To think i trusted you with everything.......I trusted them too.......
I never want you to know about this....i don't want to cause anything between you and your family.............All I can do is cry here.......i'm so glad i have the people who love me around me now............i'm hurting ....i'm crying.........
I know this will put a strain on our love but ive never loved anyone like i love you.............so I believe together we can work this out...............i believe together we can make it through the perils and trials.......I believe together as one we shall be what love wants from us.....Please stick with me....Dont leave me....

Beginning can be the end...

A beginning can be the end....
So many things I want to say
It seems there no words that can really say how i feel
but u've given me so much to hope for
so much to live for
I know u r in a place where I cant see u

Sometimes I think im over it
Then I realize
U really are gone
U really just left
I will never forget the look on your face
when u said those words...
"Help me"
I helped u
I promise I did
I tried everything
I'm sorry if it wasn't good enough

Now u r gone
I have some wonderful friends u never met
I have things to ask u
I need u to approve my work..
I write now more than ever ....
I'll do anything to keep 'u' forever
I guess i was too late...

I never should have said 'No' to u that morning...
Never should have done that hair...
I should have stayed home
I just didn't believe it would be the last day

I guess I should be grateful
At least i got to hold your hands
I got to say Sorry
Why didn't u just tell me
The beginning was the end.....
Now I'm scared
scared of beginnings...
I'm hoping it won't be the end


I LOVE YOU
No matter how far u are
Even if things change
I'm not going to forget.....
I love u.....