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5.09.2009

Emotional Rollercoaster

So I thought I knew what I was blogging about but apparently not. I have been away from blogsville for a while. So where to start.
DISCLAIMER: This is a random blog! lol
I've been thinking so much lately so please excuse me if its all a bunch of gibberish if you know what I mean. I lost a friend last week Friday. It has been a tragic experience. I keep asking questions like why. I've cried, laughed, smiled but through it all I'm just numb. I don't know how to feel. Am I supposed to be mourning? Am i to be mad? These are the questions running through my mind. I can't feel nothing. I'm so used to acting strong. As I run around comforting everyone else, I'm breaking down inside. I'm hurting so bad. I did the same thing when my dad died. I was the comforter but no one comforted me. It makes me wonder when I leave this earth who will comfort every other person who is hurting?
I'm so torn at this point I'm literally loosing my mind. I see myself doing things realizing this life is too short. I'm scared... I guess that's a word I never use but I admit I'm scared. Scared for me and the people I love. I cant bear seeing anyone go through pain anymore. It hurts to see everyone tear up. My friend was a good person. He touched the heart of everyone who knew him. I will definitely miss him.

Seconds later.....
U know how they say there is someone and no matter what the person does to you, and no matter how much they hurt u, u cant be mad at them. When they call out for u, u run to be by their side. It's not that u are being a fool it is just that their is a bond, connection that can not be broken between u two. It doesn't matter how many other people you become close to or how many people you are considering building something with, they seem to always pop up and make the difference. I wonder what this is called? Well this is a brief hint into my life and my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kEJipfru5E&feature=related

6 comments:

Penelope...! said...

awww mimi...im sad too, n u kno y..lol
yh im like the comforter too, always lukn out for pple but still wonderin hus lukn out for me.

but u kno wat? Someone once told me that we will be the most favoured in God's eyes.
think about it...you have God as a comforter alredy, wat more cud u want ei?
that automatically makes you special.
And i believe ... me too.

<3

TouchyMiMi said...

Hmm penelope
U couldn't have said it in any better way. God is indeed a comforter I guess I had not come to that revelation just yet.

<3

Anonymous said...

aww dearie...pele...here's my lil lame attempt comforting you...you will be fine ok?

at the last part...yeah I have a coupla people like that in ma life...*sigh

TouchyMiMi said...

Thank u chari! I really appreciate it! I hope I'll be fine eventually!

and about those people *sigh*

The poets voice ~~~ said...

OMG totally love your disclaimer!!! this is a very random blog but i love the randomness, that's what makes it what it is!
P.S- darling hope u are better now, i wish i was there to comfort you but God is the ultimate comforter and He can do a much better job.. much luv

TouchyMiMi said...

thank u luv