Therapy

Woah! I wish there was a perfect road in life sadly there isn't. I haven't been here in a while I didn't lose my ability to write I just lost my will to interact with people. I know that sounds strange but its the truth. The past two months has been filled with so many emotions. Honestly I've experienced more happiness than I have in a long time. I've cried, laughed, danced, sang, screamed, rolled on the floor, smiled till my face hurt like I said I've experienced so many emotions. At the end of all of this I just didn't want to be bothered. As I type this up I'm at that point of what my mom calls 'emotional strain'. No matter what kind of emotion it is, I've found out through my experience one can be 'too happy' or 'too sad'. These months have taught me that.

I've always loved but this two months I've loved more than I've ever done. I've fought for love like I never thought I will. I've stuck it out like I never thought I will. I've changed some things in my life. My MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME LOVE FOR ANYONE WASN'T PERFECT . I never understood what she meant but I do now. It seems like with the beginning of my 18Th year on this earth. God wanted me to experience this things first hand. or how else can I explain this when everything started at exactly 1:10 am August 1st 2009(I will never forget that time)... It seems that God wanted me to know that he understands me more than I can ever think. I'm not saying that I've been doing things according to God's will these months. I'm just saying that although I don't know the path that was laid for me by God, he already knows the sins I will commit and he knew that this emotions were going to come through.

For 2 years I've been holding a lot in. I held in love, tears, happiness, peace and much more. Not anymore though, These two months have taught me to let it all out. No more a prisoner within myself now I'm an eagle with wings ready to soar.

I know what I'm about to say might sound weird but in this is my Therapy. Normally it's the other way round, one needs therapy from this emotional strain but to me this emotional strain is MY THERAPY. I've loved in the dark for too long. I've let people dictate who I'm meant to love and when I'm meant to cry. I've let them tell me when to stop loving and when to start to love again. Guess what? Not anymore I've found my therapy and it feels good to cry sometimes :)

P.S: Jennifer Hudson - 'We gon' fight' my song for October! :)